sbb aku suka kau.

sebab apa aku suka kau.

pertama. : kawan.
aku suka kawan kau sebab

-kau BAIK.
-kau KLAKAR
-kau UNDERSTANDING
-kau X CEPAT MELATAH DAN EMO
-kau SAMA MCM AKU
-kau BUKAN KAKI POW
-kau BUAT AKU HEPY
-kau TRIMA AKU THE WAY I M.
-kau DALAM HATI ADA TAMAN.
-kau GILA2
-kau INGATKAN AKU BILA AK TERSASAR
-kau IKHLAS.
aku nak kita kwn smpai bila2. aku nak kau selalu dgn aku, boleh? aku nak kau maafkan salah aku. aku nak kita kawan smpai ko dah kawen, dah ade anak, dah tua. aku nak kita sama2 betulkan diri masing2, sama2 jumpa di syurga.

kedua. : lebih dr kawan. (ehem2 uhuk2)

aku suka kau sebab kau..

-kau LAIN. kau UNIK. kau X MACAM LELAKI YG AKU KENAL.
-kau BUAT ORANG LAIN SELESA DGN KAU. yg penting, kau buat aku XNAK TGK TEMPAT LAIN SELAIN KAU, KAU, DAN KAU.
-kau BEST. kau X EGO. kau INNOCENT.
-kau CUTE
-kau ADA CIRI2 YG AKU NAK.
-kau X PANDANG POMPUAN SGT. BAGUS2.
-kau BUAT RENTAK JANTUNG AKU LARI BILA KAU PNDG AKU.
-kau BUAT AKU RASA BENDA YG AKU XTAU APA NAK KATA.
-kau MCM SUIS AKU. kau boleh buat aku HAPPY, SEDIH, KELIRU anytime tanpa kau sedari.

sebab aku xkan jumpa lg org mcm kau. sebab kau orang yg special bg aku. tp kau x tahu, kau xde idea lgsg aku dah lame syok kt kau. aku rasa lg bagus mcm ni sbb kau mst freak out kalau aku bgtau. haha.
kau xkan dapat agak, org lain xkan dapat teka.
tp sebab kau UNIK. sbb kau LAIN. sbb kau MCM AIR LAUT YG BIRU DITENGAH HARI YG PANAS MEMBAHANG. sbb tu aku suka kau. aku sukaaa kauu!


ketiga. : hidup.

aku suka kau hidup sbb kau.

-kau MEMANG MEMENINGKAN.
-kau TROUBLESOME
-kau BUAT AKU REALISE BYK BENDA.
-kau BUAT AKU NAMPAK PRIORITY AKU.
-kau KASAR, kau PAINFUL. tp kdg2, kau BEST.
-kau buat aku BERSYUKUR.

hidup aku masih mencari makna. aku bagaikan pengembara yg menanti utk tiba di destinasi. cepat atau lambat aku sudah x kira, aku dah xkesah. aku hanya nak nikmati pengembaraan ini. masa juga adalah kwn baik kau. masa juga byk membesarkan kornea mataku dan melajukan pergerakan neuron dlm otakku. masa mendewasakan fikiran..insyaALLAH.

just another crap

whats the fish?
whats the fish is going on with ur fish life farah? *mind u im not using a cursing word here*

argh..everything is sooo in fishly mess!
u can only move ur butt whenenver mum nags u to

come onnnnnnnnnnn!

how am i going to arrange everything in A B C order again?
like properly and neatly arranged?

i know. i know y i become like this. uh huh. im sooo use spending my time leisurely.

im dont b what i always want to be.
im so screwed up.

earth on farah. please earth on farah.

searching for my soul.

salam..

it has been a while..
im not fond of writing...but today..i feel like i need to write..

lately...or maybe a few years back..i keep on thinking..
what should i do with myself..
i keep on reminding myself..i am 20 years old already..
but sometimes i dont feel like it..

i still remember, one tv programme that i watched..cant remember when
but the dialogue between the girl and her mum goes something like this..

girl : mum..i need to go away..im tired of all this..i need to go to a place where i can find myself..

yeah..i made up the dialogue..i cant specifically remember what she said but the message was there. something to do with 'finding myself'

at first, i wondered y wud that girl waste her money for not a very strong reason? i mean finding herself? what a terrible joke..

but that was before im in the same position as her's..

yeah..im trying..perhaps the suitable word is struggling to find myself..

the feeling is like this..i feel like someone inside me..that ive been holding back..
she is struggling..trying her best to get out..
she is drowning inside..gasping for air and space..
she is the better me..

but...

its not that im not proud with myself..
its just that im not statisfy...with what? i dont even know..
its just the the feeling of urge to feel better to be better and to act like a better person..

sometimes..i feel so envious with people who can act really calm with their problems. who understands the world like he has been living million years ago..
i wish to be calm..and relax..but im just afraid..
afraid that i will be left behind..
afraid that im not good enough...
but despite everything..i still stood there. still. not moving. not progessing.
im still the old me..i didnt do any changes for the betterment of myself.

sometimes..i just wanna scream...and let everyhting go.
i jsut wish to be me and happy with it.
the clumsy-moderate-happy me.
but i just cant...
sometimes acting me makes me feel so foolish.
i jsut dont know y..
when am i going to find myself?

woot woooootttttttttt!!

MY FIRST BLOG.

i mean my second one.

the first one is the one I have at friendster *kind of weird to know I still have fs

so why am I wasting my time doing this? final exam is sooooo around the corner, 17. 5 is d date but I still sneak a peek of time to be wasted for THIS. this?. Is it worth it? Oh farah. i think dis is far better than U wasting ur time on fb. a lot better.

20 minutes before I make my decision...

* A conversation with myself

outside : peh. cool kowt blog die ni. nak wat blog ah camni..

inside : ey2. assignment da siap lom? lempang kang

outside :LIKE I CARE

inside : yesterday mama call ckp apa?

"kaklong hang jgn la duk buang masa..blajaq la elok2."

hang ckp..

"gulp! ok mama. promise"

inside: so realise? u've promise her

outside: ya ya. u r rite. So im goin to make a blog. and promise myself that this is just for my improvement. not the finding-ur-soulmate kind of blog. promise.

inside: cam same je..lantak hang la farah....

so yeah. here I am. I can always write what I want. I love to share.

so let me tell u bit bout myself *cliche giler ayat.

I am FARAH WAHIDAH BINTI PAUZE

Was born at KEDAH DARUL AMAN. HIDOP OGHANG KEDAH.OYEAH! -kenegerian kejap.

I am A very good-looking girl. pls dont vomit at my page. tq

I can b very cheerfu, moody, mysterious - all at the same time. Im drastic. dats what my ex used to say. ;)

more info?

nah. I hate writing.

so dats all. chow miaw. assignment is waiting. oyeahh~